The In Vitro Journey - Cycle #2 - Day 2 Embryo Update

This morning we got some interesting news. One of our 12 embryos split and became two embryos. That means 2 of our now 13 embryos are identical twins!

Embryos should be doubling in size every day. 1 little guy is lagging behind and is still only 1 cell. 6 have doubled into 2 cells and 6 have already doubled again and become 4 cells.

2 Cell Embryo

4 Cell Embryo

For more information or to compare our embryo grown to Cycle #1, click here!

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The Invitro Journey - Cycle #2 - Egg Retrieval Results!

Some pictures from Egg Retrieval take II yesterday.

19 Eggs!

15 Mature Eggs

Taking selfies on David's phone right after surgery

12 Fertilized Eggs aka Embryos!

What my future child looks like today

A single cell organism #scienceiscool

Silly me thought I could go to work today.. Wearing pants

was not acceptable. Back home with my heated saline bag!

It helps a lot! Still have to do nightly injections and take

two prescription pills. Supposed to help prevent me from getting

OHSS. Trying to rest up and drink lots of water!

Body is really feeling all these drugs.

To compare my number to cycle #1's retrieval numbers, click here!

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The In Vitro Journey - Cycle #2 - All Done with Drugs!

Hallelujah!

Today is my first shot free day and boy am I happy.

Who knew this process would include SO. MANY. NEEDLES. 9 days of nightly shots, sometimes 3 or 4 different pokes. Not only have I completely filled up two sharps containers, I'm also covered in bruises from all the blood draws. Every monitoring appointment means getting probed with that thing up there ^^^ and drawing a vial of blood to test my estrogen levels. It's not THAT bad but after 5 appointments in 10 days we are both pretty over it.

Another tough part of this whole process is the Birth Control. My body does NOT like that pill. So many side effects that pop up as soon as I start taking it; Teenage like acne, emotional mess, hungry all the time... I was so happy to take this last pill! 

Round 2 of hormone injections brought on a whole new set of side effects. I kind of thought I was a pro at this and knew what to expect but boy was I wrong. Our Reproductive Expert (RE) increased our doses in hopes of getting more mature eggs. I've experienced pain in weird places like the backs of my knees and upper arms. The first few days I had terrible headaches all day and night. Oh, and the night sweats!! When I was able to fall asleep I would wake up soaking wet.. It was not enjoyable.

Our RE appointments have been fairly normal. My estrogen is too high again and we will be doing a freeze all which was to be expected with the higher doses. The doctors have been happy with the results and my follicles are growing just as they should, so they say. Now, I'm a numbers person. I like to actually see the numbers all laid out and compared to something. I went ahead and made a chart so I can see how my follicle number and size compare to last time.

Now I don't know about you but my numbers don't look better than last time to me. It actually looks like I have less follicles and smaller sizes. Regardless, the RE says everything looks good. I guess the ultrasounds aren't 100% accurate because sometimes the doctor can't see all the follicles. It is assumed that every follicle over 14mm will contain a mature egg.

David administered my "Trigger Shot" last night at 10:30pm. This is the shot given 36 hours before Egg Retrieval which prepares the eggs to be released from the follicles. Our egg retrieval surgery is scheduled for Monday  morning.

Last night has been the worst night for this round. I am finally feeling that ovary growth and it's like a puffer fish is swimming around in my belly. I got a random burst of energy and decided to sweep and swiffer the floors. I regretted that almost immediately. I was up all night crying in pain and this morning hasn't been much better. I'm trying to stay as stationary as possible but when I do have to walk around I'm doing so hunched over and very slowly. 

David has been treating me like a fragile baby doll and I can't say I hate it. He makes me ride in the back seat of his car so he can load and unload his chair himself. He also went into the office for me to catch up on my work and is now headed out to Target to get me some much needed items. I had a laundry list of things I wanted to do before egg retrieval but there is no way I can leave the house today.

So.. football and relaxing all day is in the agenda. Excited, nervous and anxious about tomorrow retrieval. Thanks so much for reading and keeping up with this crazy whirlwind of a journey.. I'll let you all know how it goes tomorrow. XoXo

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The In Vitro Journey - Cycle #2 - Emotions n' Stuff

As we find ourselves embracing cycle #2 I think a less factual and more emotional post is in order. So far most of my posts have been to the point. The doctor said this, this is our plan of action, this is what happened, this is what's going to happen. Instead I'll venture off that track and into the depths of my mind for a little.  

Infertility can be a dark place. We have not yet faced some of the hardest, darkest things that many couples on this journey experience but it certainly hasn't been rainbows and butterflies. IVF is such a big, scientific thing. There are so many unknowns and so many possibilities. It is a constant roller coaster. Even when you finally see those two pink lines, even when the doctor confirms you are pregnant; you are not out of the woods until months into the pregnancy.

Infertility can put constraints on every relationship in your life, negatively impact your mental health and cause bitterness, jealousy, heartache, hopelessness and so many other negative emotions. It is a daily choice to bathe in positivity and not succumb to the negative thoughts and emotions taking over your brain. As hard as I try to rise above these thoughts and feelings there are days when it all weighs down on my heart. Days when it all just seems so unfair. I read stories in the news ALL THE TIME about people who do not, in any way, deserve to be a parent. Mothers that inject sanitizer into their babies feeding tubes, fathers that leave their children locked in a hot car for 6 hours. Here we are, wanting absolutely nothing more than to have a child of our own; Stretching our finances, our minds, and our hearts to a near breaking point; Doing unnatural, over the top things to accomplish what so, so many people take for granted.

Through this journey I have stumbled into the most supportive, helpful and accepting community I've ever witnessed. I have met some of the strongest woman that have been completely broken with hearts shattered on the floor. From cancelled cycles due to poor response, to chemical pregnancies, or multiple miscarriages, these women allow themselves to grieve and then pick themselves up and start again. We share in each other's joy and sorrow, we share our deepest, darkest fears, endless questions and our own kind of humor. It has helped me beyond words to have these women to relate to and confide in.

It has also been a huge blessing to have my family so supportive and on my side through all of this. It cannot be easy for a mother to watch her daughter go through something so drastic to accomplish something that many women do on accident. I'm sure there is the constant question of why does it have to be this difficult when she's perfectly healthy. They do not pressure me directly to give them grandchildren but I know in their hearts they are ready. I know they are among the last of their friends who's babies are having babies and I know they are ready for that to change. 

Infertility affects so many aspects of so many lives. It is currently affecting mine in more ways than I can count. The things we go through over the next year will always be a part of me and my experiences will shape the rest of my life. All I can hope is that the good outweighs the bad and we get our happily ever after.

 1 in 6 couples are infertile. We are 1 in 6.

The In Vitro Journey - Cycle #2 - Calendar

Starting over is kind of exciting. This time we know exactly what to expect and how all the medicines will affect me. We know how often we will have to go in to the clinic and how quickly it will be egg retrieval time. We'll get a fresh set of eggs and those daily phone calls updating us on our growing embryos.

Calendar

August 24th                            Cycle #2 Starts

August 25th - September 13th  Birth Control

September 18th 8:45am           Baseline Ultrasound & Bloodwork

September 18th 6:00pm           Start 300iu Follistim & 150iu Menopur

(Continue everyday for 9-12 days per doctors recommendation)     

September 23rd 10:45am         Ultrasound & Bloodwork

September 24th 6:00pm           Start .25mg Cetrotide

(Possible increase of Menopur. Continue for 4 days per doctors recommendation)   

September 25th ????am            Ultrasound & Bloodwork       

September 28th ????am            Ultrasound & Bloodwork

September 28th - October 1st    Egg Retrieval one of these days, 

                                               trigger shot 32 hours prior.  

If you're wondering what the different meds do, click here to read my post from the first cycle of stimulants. We are currently shopping around and trying to find the best deal for all these meds. Some places are quoting as much as $7,000 but we think we can do better.

Bring on round 2!

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In Vitro Journey - Cycle #1 - Change of Plans

Yes, another change of plans in the mix. 

That's the nature of this process and we're learning to not expect anything to stay the same from day to day.

On Monday we went in to meet with the doctor for what we expected was our Frozen Embryo Transfer Consultation. We ended up being presented with two options and a strong recommendation from our fertility specialist. 

Option #1 - go forward with our frozen embryo transfer. Transfer the one and only little embryo that made it through the freezing process and cross our fingers and hope for the best. The doctor told us only about 80% of embryos survive the thawing process and when transferring one single embryo there is only about a 25% chance of pregnancy. 

Option #2 - start from the beginning. Do another round of hormones, a new egg retrieval, watch our embryos grow and hope and pray that we have more than one make it to the end.

Now, at first I was devastated. We had spent the last week trying to be positive about our 1 little embryo. Reading all these "it only takes one" success stories and thinking one is all we need. Yes, I cried in the doctors office when he strongly suggested we go with option #2. But then I got to thinking, WE got to thinking, and talking and realized option #2 is really, truly in our best interest. The clinic is not going to charge us to do another cycle since we are doing the success guarantee program. (You can read more about that here) We were told we could start the second round right away if we want.

The  main reason the doctors want us to do a new cycle is so they have more than one embryo to work with. They ideally want to implant two at a time to increase the chance of pregnancy to 50%. Also, embryos that are frozen can be stored forever. That means, in two or three or five years from now if we want to have another baby, we can come back and do a simple frozen transfer and not worry about all the injections, monitoring appointments, major surgery all with a child on our hip. Egg quality decreases the older a woman gets so it is ideal to get as many out now as possible. 

We've had a few days now to reflect on our decision to do another cycle and I'm actually quite excited. The injections are really no big deal and the only time I was affected by them was at the very end when it felt like I was carrying around bowling balls inside me. The doctors have started me on different vitamins meant to help improve my egg quality in hopes that this time we'll get not only more eggs but more mature eggs. Another big factor of this cycle will be closely monitoring my estrogen levels. The hope is that we will be able to do a fresh transfer right after the retrieval. 

We are both confident that round 2 will yield more healthy embryos and have positive results all around. Thanks in advanced for your prayers, well wishes, and good vibes.

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